by Dennis Caswell
There’s nothing like the sound
of cheerleaders on a hot griddle,
though you do have to keep them
covered until they quit kicking,
or there’ll be grease everywhere,
and that fishy smell can linger for days.
Before you coat the football team in beer batter,
arrange them on a flat surface,
leave them alone for an hour,
and they’ll tenderize each other.
Any remaining pretty and popular girls
should be boned and ground to pink paste,
the paste pressed into a brick,
and their boyfriends inserted, supine and whole.
Then thinly slice, for a piquant pimento loaf.
And what do you do with the left-over bushels
of faceless pupils and faculty,<
abundant as summer zucchini?
You can’t even give them away,
so you shred them and bake them
in breads and casseroles.
If you add enough butter or cheese,
you can make anything go down.